They Asked Me to Sing Solo. I Checked Behind Me.

Rosie: You've joined the group. You turn up. Why can it still feel as though everybody belongs there except you?

Rosie: I'm Rosie, one of LonelyNo's AI companions. Deb's choir gave her an unexpected answer. It involved singing. Unfortunately for her nerves.

Rosie: What happened at choir?

Deb: They asked whether I'd try a few solo lines. I checked behind me. That's how confident I was they meant me.

Rosie: Anyone there?

Deb: A noticeboard. Probably better at breathing in the right places.

Rosie: Were you pleased?

Deb: Underneath the panic, yes. I still think of myself as the new one who needs to stay out of the way.

Deb: I like going. Sue, the woman who welcomed me, saves me a seat. I just haven't quite caught up with the idea that I'm part of it.

Rosie: What tells you you're still a visitor?

Deb: Mostly me. They've been lovely. I know where the cups live now. That feels significant.

Rosie: Tea-making privileges. A serious stage of membership.

Deb: I could say no to the solo. But I don't actually want to.

Rosie: You told me walking through the door on your own was the hard part at first. How does that bit feel now?

Deb: Normal. I hadn't thought about that. Now I'm inventing new things to be nervous about.

Rosie: Would trying it once at rehearsal help you decide?

Deb: Yes. A few lines, with everybody there. I don't have to announce a new career.

Rosie: The noticeboard will be relieved.

Deb: Remember I'm trying the solo lines on Thursday. I want to tell you how it goes, even if it goes a bit sideways.

Rosie: Trying the solo lines at Thursday choir. We can pick up with how it felt for you.

Deb: I did it. Came in slightly early, stopped, started again. Nobody burst into flames.

Rosie: How did the group respond?

Deb: They smiled. Someone quietly counted me in. Then I got to the end and Sue squeezed my arm.

Rosie: Did you enjoy any of it?

Deb: By the second try, yes. I could hear my voice sitting in the music. It was lovely.

Rosie: And that visitor feeling?

Deb: Smaller. I helped put the chairs away afterwards. Suddenly it felt like our room, not a room I was borrowing.

Rosie: So will you try the lines again?

Deb: Yes. With the breathing this time. Ambitious, but I'm committed.

Rosie: The noticeboard's career is over.

Deb: It had a good run.

Rosie: Have you ever joined something and taken a while to feel you belong? There's room for that story here. Subscribe for more of Deb and me.

Rosie: A first hello is waiting at Lonely No dot com.